New moon, new worlds - a recap.
When I witnessed the two ends of Rajasthan film world.
30th March 2025, I would like to document- was the first day I used AI on my computer. I have been preparing myself for it for more than a year. This day in my life is historical. Yes you can have a laugh at it. When I shared the fact that I was still untouched by AI, during one of the design conferences in 2023- a man mocked me on my face and said “you are surely stupid”. I had consoled myself by being self assured in the face of that laughter.
At that point I was self aware of my desire of walking backwards - of becoming a living museum in the face of hyper-productive tech driven ecosystems.
Do you understand what I mean?
If not a hundred percent, the desire to and or not to use AI or any tech begins with fear. Fear to change or not change - based on who you are. Some would be petrified to be left behind on foot when folks around them have fancy cars to wheely around.
One can debate if the rationale we find behind our motivations does not have fear as the seed?
I have been thinking about how we have changed in the past few years. I am witnessing the shifts in myself but also my friends and my family. It’s a beautiful shift. So much so that in the long term we will all be totally new set of people co-existing in the future.
Last week was quite exciting. I saw two sides of Rajasthan’s film scene in a week’s time- co-existing- struggling and flourishing at once. I enjoy being at the mid point - being able to witness both this and that. I almost live for this - having access to a wide array of worlds. The side effect- a reluctance of going too deep into anything.
Like the caretaker relative in the Indian wedding - the tauji who is meant to look after guests and ensure they have fun. I find joy in togetherness and a happy one at that. There is multiplicity in all aspects of my life- not just people, I wish to hold many professions, ideas and initiatives together in a happy co-existence.
Not an easy task I call upon myself - but who wants easy anyway!
So last week, we witnessed coming together of all indie filmmakers of Rajasthan at Rajasthan Talent Showcase in Jaipur last week. Glad to have watched Sachin’s In Flanders Field that put together haunting voices and images of Indian soldiers from the World War, Nishi Dugar’s Anaardaana that touched oneself with a tender portrayal of grief and growing up. Also heard great things about Anuranjan’s Daket and Sandeep Jat’s Mokhan Wahini. Shivang Shukla’s Geedh was a surprise and it was a delight to speak with him and all other filmmakers afterwards. One can feel something substantial brewing at this end. Experimental works, entertaining Rajasthani films, documentaries and fiction films with fine aesthetics - the fest had everything.
Nidhi Saxena’s celebrated Sad Letters of Imaginary Woman was also screened at the fest along with Sarvnik Kaur’s Against the tide - both shot by Jaipur based cinematographer Ashok Meena. Anand Singh Chohan’s short film Washing Machine was the opening film and was third in the series of films shot by Meena.
The festival became a fertile ground for discussions and building a sense of camaraderie amongst the indie fraternity. We were the last ones standing on the closing day- when 5 of us ended up closing the party at about 5 am in the morning. It would surely be a night worth remembering for us - opening up to each other on our struggles, our motivations, our journeys - that are often left unsaid in formal settings.
At Rajasthan Film Collective these conversations will be taken forward real soon, I am hopeful.
On the other end, the same week, I was called in for Rajasthan Film Samaroh - to be felicitated for an award for contribution to documentary filmmaking in Rajasthan. Thanks to film researcher and scholar MD Soni ji, he initiated the prize under Mr. MM Sharma (a yesteryear documentary filmmaker from Rajasthan) and nominated me for the honour.
The award ceremony was quite theatrical. I saw elements of folk and its spontaneity and unsophisticated-ness at play on the stage as the organiser uncle went about pulling strings both on and off stage. Tbh the show became unbearable by the end of 2 hours. We were given snack packets to munch on to let go of the brewing headache. But something interesting happened by the end of it. The ceremony ended with Mr. Kavia - a 92 year old veteran from Rajasthani film industry who was conferred the lifetime Achievement Award - gave those ones to the organisers.
‘I waited for something meaningful to be discussed for the past Two hours- but we were more into celebration’. “Taali bajane se kuch nahi hoga” he reprimanded when the audience chose to shun their embarrassment with applause.
“We have to admit that Rajasthani industry is technically inferior - aesthetically substandard”- he roared on the mic. People who had gathered around him to get a photograph slyly dispersed - he spoke till the last end- till the lights were taken down and the sweepers came to collect trash. In his 15 minute monologue- he sang a song- told a folk tale - remembered a few names from Rajasthani film industry who were forgotten in the Three hour long award saga and blasted the audience for talking amongst themselves while he spoke “chup ho jaiye, nahi to bahar nikaliye” was how he began his speech.
He sang with love and spoke like how we want to speak the truth - roaring from the loudspeakers in anguish.
“Let go of the past but what about the future!” He was worried. I wish he could get a chance to witness the work of younger filmmakers at our festival and find hope. So often the link between the old and the young is lost.
The young lament the absence of a mentor and old keep craving for desirous students.
I hope we can bridge these gaps with our own efforts.
While this event left a bad taste in the mouth for many- in the morning I had enjoyed hosting a public screening of my film Meen Raag for a thorough Meena audience.
I was nervous in the beginning but eventually found the audience delighted by the film. They clapped, laughed and sang with the film. What I found with this screening was the joy of connecting with community- the true audience of a film. So often the films are screened in smaller theatres for fellow filmmakers and cinephiles, but there is immense joy in connecting a work with larger group of people - who truly understand the language and find the moments relatable.
If one wants, one can feel sick and almost angry by the state of affairs - there were and always are many reasons for it. I somehow managed to get by through both the events- in fact we manage to get by through most of the events- fulfilling or annoying with many emotions, doubts, disappointments our way.
We as creators learn the art of embracing and letting go in this very life time.
One sees that spirit also in the Meena performers who sang and danced post screening- making impromptu poetry on my myself and others in the group.
In the closing party of the film festival, warmly hosted at and by TOSS - the key force behind the festival, I opened up to my fellow filmmakers as they looked up to me for answers on “how to survive in the film field?” I could only respond with an honest- “I too am in the same boat as you.” Well, who isn’t!
But I also confessed my desire to move on and out of where I am. How much ever we desire it, there is a sense of suffocation at being a centre of anything. We do things for the joy of doing- for the joy of discovery and exploration. The visibility that follows is a side effect, also a validation or nourishment of some sort but it can hardly ever be the destination.
Meen Raag is a tiny effort in the face of conservation and so much remains to be done. I/ We lack support at all fronts - I truly wish for patrons to come on board in support of indie filmmakers who have the potential to bring together films of all tastes.
While we wait for aid to come in, our community has begun the work on ground- we will build our own shelters- we will shine our stories in the world - authentically, such is our hope. We are standing at a crucial juncture.
Innovation is key and all young filmmakers are at it.
Close the exit doors for now, lights off, phones off. Let’s carry on the show folks.
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